Can A Short Guy Be Darth Vader For Halloween?

Halloween is one of the few days of the year when I can unleash my inner child and take a break from that responsible adult thing. The costume I choose is the key ingredient in this endeavor. I have been everything from a clown to Freddy Krueger.

My goal has always been to be Darth Vader. The problem is I’m not exactly the tallest tree in the woods. Before we continue, yes, I know this is not a Star Wars blog. However, the first Star Wars comic book was published on March 8^th, 1977, 79 days before the first movie was released, so there’s your connection, and besides, it’s my blog.

Darth Vader is my favorite science fiction character. I’ve often wished for the ability to force choke someone and have extended my arm in many a failed attempt to levitate the remote control. Vader’s influence has profoundly impacted my life, and all I want to do is pay homage to the dark lord of the Sith.

I gravitate towards the Star Wars section at the costume shop, and I always try on the Darth Vader mask with the special breathing sound effects. My wife always says, “Just do it,” when it’s so obvious what I am contemplating as I wield a plastic lightsaber in the aisle in a dignified manner while a five-year-old wearing a Boba Fett helmet looks at me like I’m the weirdo.

Friends have suggested I dress up as Yoda if I’m apprehensive about the height disparity. Hold the phone. I’m not an AT-AT, but I’m not an Ewok either. Truth be told, I have no quarrel with Yoda, as he and my dog share the same name. The few extra pounds I carry nowadays would make me look more like Slimer than the Jedi master himself.

I could always say I’m dressed as Lord Helmet or, better yet, Vader’s second cousin, Dark Vader. Maybe I will just man up and say, ‘HELL YEAH, I’M DARTH VADER.” It all depends; can a short guy really pull it off?

My Spider Dichotomy

I hate spiders. I always have, and the thought of them makes my skin crawl. Living in the Halloween capital of the world doesn’t make it any easier because I spend my October nights walking by large mechanical spiders hanging on every window. I have secretly used a fax cover sheet to push one near a co-worker, so they would have to kill it instead of me.

Sometimes, I need my wife to kill them on sight. I know, I know, but in my defense, I would totally take out a mouse or a rat she needed me to, so I think we are even. One time, my friends tried to trick me into seeing the movie “Eight Legged Freaks” under the guise of seeing “Attack of the Clones” in a hilariously twisted attempt to cure me of my phobia.

For some reason, I enjoy Spider-Man comic books more than most. I think he has the coolest costume, and I daydream about web-slinging from skyscraper to skyscraper when I visit New York City. Of course, I prefer the comic-inspired web-shooters as opposed to the organic webbing in the movies.

I’ve been writing a weekly comic book column for two months now, and I have been very impressed with the Spider-Man books as of late. One, in particular, had a ton of giant spiders, and I almost couldn’t finish reading it, but I persevered. I just don’t understand how I can enjoy this character much, even though the insignia on his back makes me want to spray Raid on him.

I should probably turn in my man card after all of this. I don’t think I will ever truly discover why I find myself emotionally vested in this character derived from the very thing I simply can’t abide. Maybe this is normal, or maybe I’m a special kind of crazy. In the end, I may never know.

UFC 136 Edgar vs. Maynard III results

UFC 136 Edgar vs. Maynard III results 10/8/11

Toyota Center in Houston, Texas

– Facebook Prelims

Mike Massenzio defeated Steve Cantwell via unanimous decision

Aaron Simpson defeated Eric Schafer via unanimous decision. The score was 30-37 across the board

Darren Elkins defeated Tiequan Zhang via unanimous decision

Stipe Miocic defeated Joey Beltran via unanimous decision

– Spike Prelims

Anthony Pettis defeated Jeremy Stephens via split decision. The score was 29-28 across the board

Demian Maia defeated Jorge Santiago via unanimous decision. The score was 30-27 across the board

– Main Card

Joe Lauzon defeated Melvin Guillard by submission via rear-naked choke @ 0:47 of 1st Round

Nam Phan defeated Leonard Garcia via unanimous decision. The score was 29-28 across the board

Chael Sonnen defeated Brian Stann by submission via arm triangle @ 3:51 of the 2nd Round

*Sonnen cut a promo after the bout saying “Anderson Silva absolutely sucks. Superbowl weekend, lets sweeten the deal. If you lose, you leave the division. If I win, I leave the UFC forever”.

-Featherweight Championship

Jose Also defeated Kenny Florian via unanimous decision to retain the title. The score was 49-46 across the board as Florian won the 1st round and Aldo won 4 close rounds.

-Lightweight Championship

Frankie Edgar defeated Gray Maynard via TKO due to strikes at 3:54 of the 4th round.

Gray Maynard won the first round in similar fashion as he won the first round in their second fight when Gray hit Edgar with a over hand right hand that rocked him. Frankie recovered and used slick footwork and got in and out with his punches. Maynard kept telegraphing his punches as he kept looking for that one knockout shot. Edgar finished Maynard in the 4th when he connect with two right hand shots after Maynard missed the takedown. Edgar jumped on him and kept hitting with shot after shot until Josh Rosenthal came in to stop the fight. Edgar was happy as can be while Maynard was devastated as he buried his face into the cage while his corner calmed him down.

UFC 136: Edgar vs. Maynard III Preview & Predictions

While UFC 136 does not have a marquee mega fight that will produce a lot of fan fare, it is the most well rounded card of the year as every fight is intriguing and well matched. Two title championship fights headline the card with the return of one of the most controversial fighters the sport has seen in years. The Facebook Prelims start 5:45 p.m. EST and the Spike TV Prelims start at 8:00 p.m. followed by the PPV beginning at 9:00 p.m. EST.

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Chael Sonnen vs. Brian Stann Preview @ UFC 136

Chael Sonnen, the mouthpiece of the middleweight division, returns to the Octagon on Saturday night after a 14-month suspension to take on Brian Stann in a contest that will determine the next contender to Anderson Silva’s championship reign. For Stann, it’s a fight to show the world that he belongs among the middleweight elite.

For Sonnen, this is the first step towards silencing the critics that the fruits of his labor against Silva were the result of hard work and not the product of ill-gotten gains. The sub-par administration and lack of drug testing from the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation will cast a shadow of doubt over a Sonnen victory. Chael’s flair for dramatic storytelling sells the bout while Brian Stann’s personal story of heroic combat and decorated military service sells itself to popular opinion.

The UFC stayed away from commission shopping for fighters, but they made a first-time exception for Sonnen since Texas is the only state in the country he can get licensed in. The Oregonian’s placement on this card suggests the promotion is banking on him to win. The reality is Zuffa wins no matter the outcome. A win for Sonnen sets up a huge money-making rematch and a win for Stann creates a new star in the division. Whether it is legal or in poor taste, you can’t blame the UFC for making a business decision, they would have done it sooner or later.

The promotion for this fight has been a little different since Sonnen has uncharacteristically shied away from insulting his opponent. Customary diatribe such as “I will mow you down like autumn wheat, AGAIN” in reference to Silva has been replaced by “I’m the best Middleweight fighter in the world and I’m going to prove it again on Saturday”. It’s easier to insult a world champion who some perceive to be cocky than a Marine Corps veteran with hero status.

The fight itself will prove to be a battle of wills inside the cage. Stann will try to engage with his stand up while Sonnen will look to control the action with his wrestling. Chael’s weakness is unquestionably his submission defense. Stann does not have the pedigree on the ground to catch him in a submission. He will have to avoid Sonnen’s mixture of punches and elbows from the top position and scramble back to his feet in quick fashion in order to improve his chances. In the end, wrestling will be the key factor, as I don’t see Sonnen having problems taking Stann down since he has no problem taking down higher caliber opposition.

Prediction: Chael Sonnen by judges decision.

Animal Man #1 Review

I finally read Animal Man #1. I often find Vertigo titles hard to read, so I held off on it. The book has generated a lot of hype, and many are calling it the best of The New DC 52.

The book starts with Buddy’s newspaper interview with “The Believer.” The piece highlights his life as a superhero, stuntman, and family man. It’s a text-heavy page, so it might be a turnoff. It’s not a critical read, but it might give you more appreciation or understanding of the character.

We then see Buddy at home preparing dinner with his wife, Ellen. His daughter, Maxine, wants a puppy, but Buddy says no because being so close to one animal for a long time might interfere with his powers.

He hates that he has to disappoint her, but he would rather err on the side of caution. Ellen wants to know if he will get paid for a movie project he is involved in. Cliff, his son, runs downstairs to tell Buddy about a man with a gun holding people hostage inside a hospital, and Buddy decides it’s time for Animal Man to swing back into action.

I would not want to see Travel Forman’s artwork in a Superman comic book, but it is perfect for this type of story. Jeff Lemire’s script is very well written, and he knows how to convey a character’s depth to the reader.

Bottom line, it’s good but just not my cup of tea. I need a little more action and adventure in my comics. I recommend Animal Man to anyone who is a fan of good writing and is looking for something different.

Superman: Earth One Review

Superman Earth One is a contemporary re-imagining of the last son of Krypton’s journey to become the man of steel. Clark Kent arrives in Metropolis with the purpose of finding his way into the world while finding a job so he can support his widowed mother. These days, most people have a tough time getting a job. Clark’s problem is the opposite. He can land any job he wants and be the best in the world at it while making a lot of money. Continue reading “Superman: Earth One Review” →

Is Jose Aldo The Answer To The Problem?

The featherweight division has a new king, and his name is Jose Aldo. His takedown defense and fierce striking were all he needed to wrestle away the WEC crown from the very game Mike Thomas Brown. At only 23 years old, the Brazilian sensation has shown the poise and maturity of a grizzled veteran.

Like many before him, Aldo has been labeled a “can’t miss prospect” by fans and media. Is Jose Aldo any different from the other fighters who have carried that tag? Jose Aldo has only been a professional fighter for five years, and with a record of 16-1, he has gained a reputation of finishing first and asking questions later.

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UFC 104 thoughts: Where is Shogun’s Belt?

Posted on gerweck.net

UFC 104 from start to finish was a great night of fights. Sadly, the event will mostly be remembered for the horrible judge’s decision that gave Lyoto Machida the nod to retain the Light Heavyweight Title. Every time I watch a close fight, I always get nervous when I hear the play-by-play team keeping repeating, “If you want to be the champion, you have to beat the champion.” It right away tells me that winning on points is not enough. You better destroy the champ if you want to win the title. I don’t know how all three judges scored the bout 48-47 in favor of Machida. There is no way Machida won three rounds. I scored the bout 49-46 for Shogun. The only round I scored for Machida was the third. The second round was very close and could have gone either way; however, I thought Rua did just enough to edge it out.

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Rousimar Palhares is looking for his own breakthrough

Saturday’s UFC 88 event is headlined by Chuck Liddell as he takes on the undefeated Rashad Evans. Rich Franklin will also compete as he moves back to light heavyweight for one night only against wrestling powerhouse Matt Hamill. One fight that is not getting much attention involves former Pride welterweight & middleweight champion Dan Henderson. Henderson’s opponent, Rousimar Palhares, is getting less attention despite the hype about his potential in the division. Palhares made his Octagon debut at UFC 84 in May. He dominated the highly regarded Ivan Salaverry and is looking to impress once again and take out the war-tested veteran in Henderson.

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