Can A Short Guy Be Darth Vader For Halloween?

Halloween is one of the few days of the year when I can unleash my inner child and take a break from that responsible adult thing. The costume I choose is the key ingredient in this endeavor. I have been everything from a clown to Freddy Krueger.

My goal has always been to be Darth Vader. The problem is I’m not exactly the tallest tree in the woods. Before we continue, yes, I know this is not a Star Wars blog. However, the first Star Wars comic book was published on March 8^th, 1977, 79 days before the first movie was released, so there’s your connection, and besides, it’s my blog.

Darth Vader is my favorite science fiction character. I’ve often wished for the ability to force choke someone and have extended my arm in many a failed attempt to levitate the remote control. Vader’s influence has profoundly impacted my life, and all I want to do is pay homage to the dark lord of the Sith.

I gravitate towards the Star Wars section at the costume shop, and I always try on the Darth Vader mask with the special breathing sound effects. My wife always says, “Just do it,” when it’s so obvious what I am contemplating as I wield a plastic lightsaber in the aisle in a dignified manner while a five-year-old wearing a Boba Fett helmet looks at me like I’m the weirdo.

Friends have suggested I dress up as Yoda if I’m apprehensive about the height disparity. Hold the phone. I’m not an AT-AT, but I’m not an Ewok either. Truth be told, I have no quarrel with Yoda, as he and my dog share the same name. The few extra pounds I carry nowadays would make me look more like Slimer than the Jedi master himself.

I could always say I’m dressed as Lord Helmet or, better yet, Vader’s second cousin, Dark Vader. Maybe I will just man up and say, ‘HELL YEAH, I’M DARTH VADER.” It all depends; can a short guy really pull it off?

My Spider Dichotomy

I hate spiders. I always have, and the thought of them makes my skin crawl. Living in the Halloween capital of the world doesn’t make it any easier because I spend my October nights walking by large mechanical spiders hanging on every window. I have secretly used a fax cover sheet to push one near a co-worker, so they would have to kill it instead of me.

Sometimes, I need my wife to kill them on sight. I know, I know, but in my defense, I would totally take out a mouse or a rat she needed me to, so I think we are even. One time, my friends tried to trick me into seeing the movie “Eight Legged Freaks” under the guise of seeing “Attack of the Clones” in a hilariously twisted attempt to cure me of my phobia.

For some reason, I enjoy Spider-Man comic books more than most. I think he has the coolest costume, and I daydream about web-slinging from skyscraper to skyscraper when I visit New York City. Of course, I prefer the comic-inspired web-shooters as opposed to the organic webbing in the movies.

I’ve been writing a weekly comic book column for two months now, and I have been very impressed with the Spider-Man books as of late. One, in particular, had a ton of giant spiders, and I almost couldn’t finish reading it, but I persevered. I just don’t understand how I can enjoy this character much, even though the insignia on his back makes me want to spray Raid on him.

I should probably turn in my man card after all of this. I don’t think I will ever truly discover why I find myself emotionally vested in this character derived from the very thing I simply can’t abide. Maybe this is normal, or maybe I’m a special kind of crazy. In the end, I may never know.

All Guts & No Glory For Roode.

wm14 — Austin wins WWF belt at Wrestlemania 14

Remember when Stone Cold Steve Austin went over on Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 14? I remember because I was at the Fleetcenter that night. Wrestling fans all over the world rejoiced because the Austin 3:16 era had arrived. Now, imagine if Shawn Michaels had won that match and Austin pinned Shawn in the rematch at the following months Unforgiven pay-per-view? Can’t picture it? Well, let me paint it for you. The revitalization that occurred in professional wrestling because of the Attitude era would have never materialized.

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Animal Man #1 Review

I finally read Animal Man #1. I often find Vertigo titles hard to read, so I held off on it. The book has generated a lot of hype, and many are calling it the best of The New DC 52.

The book starts with Buddy’s newspaper interview with “The Believer.” The piece highlights his life as a superhero, stuntman, and family man. It’s a text-heavy page, so it might be a turnoff. It’s not a critical read, but it might give you more appreciation or understanding of the character.

We then see Buddy at home preparing dinner with his wife, Ellen. His daughter, Maxine, wants a puppy, but Buddy says no because being so close to one animal for a long time might interfere with his powers.

He hates that he has to disappoint her, but he would rather err on the side of caution. Ellen wants to know if he will get paid for a movie project he is involved in. Cliff, his son, runs downstairs to tell Buddy about a man with a gun holding people hostage inside a hospital, and Buddy decides it’s time for Animal Man to swing back into action.

I would not want to see Travel Forman’s artwork in a Superman comic book, but it is perfect for this type of story. Jeff Lemire’s script is very well written, and he knows how to convey a character’s depth to the reader.

Bottom line, it’s good but just not my cup of tea. I need a little more action and adventure in my comics. I recommend Animal Man to anyone who is a fan of good writing and is looking for something different.

WWE releases four wrestlers, another quits

The big news of the day is the WWE released four superstars while another quits the company.

Melina: She was in the dog house for her Twitter comments about Trish Stratus “taking her spot” at Wrestlemania 27. Guess what? It’s not your spot. Wrestlemania pay days do not come with time well served unless your name is Undertaker or HBK. 90 days form now we will see her on Impact. She will be lost in the shuffle like everyone.

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Superman: Earth One Review

Superman Earth One is a contemporary re-imagining of the last son of Krypton’s journey to become the man of steel. Clark Kent arrives in Metropolis with the purpose of finding his way into the world while finding a job so he can support his widowed mother. These days, most people have a tough time getting a job. Clark’s problem is the opposite. He can land any job he wants and be the best in the world at it while making a lot of money. Continue reading “Superman: Earth One Review” →

Can Averno help Sin Cara save face?

Hell is coming to the WWE in the form of the Luchador named Averno. He is being brought in to work with Sin Cara because he is not getting over. The two have had lots of great matches together in Mexico and Averno is considered to be Sin Cara’s best opponent. Averno is going to finish up with CMLL in June in a mask vs. mask match with La Mascara. It nice to see the company work with someone instead of giving up on them, however, I question if this is the best idea.

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Macho Man Randy Savage 1952 – 2011

“In our culture, when a pro wrestler dies, it’s the equivalent as a superhero dying.” Unknown

Sunday, August 28, 1988, was the first time Randy Savage entered my life. I was 7 years old, channel surfing, looking for something to watch on TV. I landed on channel WLVI 56, and these two larger than life individuals who called themselves the “Mega Powers” told me about the dastardly deeds perpetrated by the Million Dollar Man and Andre the Giant. Continue reading “Macho Man Randy Savage 1952 – 2011” →

A Detailed Look at New Japan’s New York Show

New Japan Pro Wrestling invaded New York City for the second night of their tour this past Saturday. The evening’s battle ground is known as Basketball City and is really just a large abandoned warehouse. The attendance was announced at approximately 1,200 people. These shows might have been a once in a lifetime opportunity for fans to see their favorite NJPW stars live in person. Hopefully, the shows were perceived as being good enough so they will come back in the future.

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In Hulk Hogan we Trust !?

I talk to a lot of casual wrestling fans. They watch TNA and get excited when they see the Hulkster on their screen. Once they listen and realize he is a heel who is trying to run the company for his personal gain, they change the channel. Hulk Hogan as a heel is not entertaining television in 2011.

The NWO days of 1996 are long gone. Hulk Hogan is way into the twilight of his career. At 57 years old, he can barely move and wears a back brace. If you saw him on American Idol, he could barely throw a punch. The majority of TNA’s fans are “smart” fans. They know all of this and will have zero faith in a Hogan vs. Sting program, which seems to be the direction they are going in.

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